When Everything is a Fight (Being Sick & Tired)

He's Just Not that Good
Or
He's just Horrible to you
By: Geneva Relf

MP3: Brandy – Who’s The Loser Now (Prod by Timbaland)

There are no shortcuts to love, there is no easy way to handle someone's hearts sometimes you have to walk away to see what it is you really have! The hardest part about being in a relationship is not knowing your placement with that person! Often times were given the responsibility but never the title! Many women often get caught up in the duties they forget to ask if their holding the title as well. I am sure many of you are reading this thinks, how would not you know? Well I am about to tell you how it's easy to get caught up! I am going to break down for you the signs, the complicated emotions, and the way out!  Also I will give the inside track mind of a player what to look for and how to avoid it for the future! By the time you finish reading this you will understand that sometimes it takes an outsider to call a foul on the inside!


The Signs 


Verbal Propaganda- If not you we know someone who has fallen for the verbal propaganda! Were the words are just so sweet before they turn ugly. A man on a mission will use whatever tactics it takes to accomplish his task, this means using you watch out! He will say things like "Babe your the best.", "Your an angel, to me." he will even take it further by telling you how special you are. Often times we hear this ladies and what? Melt we just fall head over heels for sweet words. However we forget to ask "What makes us so special, what about me is so angelic?" We often do not because we already the answers! Fellas fall for this too men often get caught up they underestimate women too much, letting their guards down leaving them open to pain!


The Call or Texting - Paging all Texting only ladies I know your out there! He will not call but he has the nerve to text you to death? When he needs something your phone is always going off, and it seems the minute you need him he has plans? These plans do not always include you, but if you're accepting text messaging its just to see if he really has you on a leash. He has not called in a week but has kept you on his leash, how you ask? He will text you good morning giving you a feeling of importance, but the lingering question is who is on other side of his morning? If he is really concerned do not text back see if he will call, however if you do not hear from him the text was just to see how really accessible you are to his expectations!
 The Calls  take place when he feels it your turn! Your number is like the lottery was pulled today you win a call from Mr.Want!  He will make the call seems as if your the only one he needs when in actuality it's just your hour!



Limited Visits- This occurs when your not the only lady in the camp, so unless you're willing to go camping your staying at home!



The Outing- Where is he taking you, but if you think about it sometimes it's where you're taking yourself? If you're always paying you're really dating yourself but with  handsome company! Where are you taking you?

Complicated Emotions 


The Insecure vibe- This happens when you're not being paid attention, when your no longer #1 to him but a name on a list of many! This emotion has many women willing to compromise their own self respect just to be heard or well appreciated!  This often happens when you do not know yourself worth or your value!



Shut Down- This is when the world is no longer important you grow numb! We women often shut down when a man we trusted has taken advantage of us! We aren't willing to let our guards down again instead we build walls will barbwire and electric gates to keep out the pain!



Getting out 


Discover yourself- We often fall for anything when we do not know our-self or what it is we really need! Players can smell fear,and insecurities a mile away if your afraid to speak your mind, trust me they will put the thoughts in there for you! So know yourself and never let someone become so much that your no longer important!


Letting Go- Once you move on stay gone, a lot of times men will do what it takes to gain your trust again just to slip back into the old ways  they are use to ! So move on stay gone do not allow yourself to be mistreated for sport!


Inside View 

1. Anyone who wants to make it work, will take the time and the effort it takes!

2.Pointless fighting happens when they want an excuse to cheat. Being free to do what they want while your mad!

3. Changing it up on you, happens when he/her is done playing a role! The real him/her will come out and forcing you to choose or adopt!

4. When your tears beat your smiles, they hope that the limited smiles you have out weigh the load of tears!

5. Questions when it seems there are more questions then answers reevaluation time!

6.Rules when you have all the guidelines and they have all the freedom something not right about that?

7. When your love is no longer a factor, when your feeling of security is slipping, when you're too tired to fight anymore!

8. When all they have is words, a kiss, or a touch it's over, they will hold you while you let them but eventually you will want more or at least you should!






MP3: Chris Brown – Submarine

What Do You think

A man asked the question "Why Be faithful if they think your cheating anyways?... that's the question that all the dudes with insecure ass females need to ask themselves?" 

At first I had great pause to answering this question,because to me it seems that sometimes we ask what we already know!Maybe it's a deep down feeling we have that we are wrong or about to commit an error and need to feel justified in it to do so. However how do you know when you have gone too far, and your about to make that terrible mistake, or you have pushed someone into thinking you have? Then the question of what does it take to secure a person in their feelings is the next one! In addition to that the question of why does love drive you to question it, and why does questions push people away? I often think that the past has a lot to do with the present, and the footing you start with has a path of it's own. Not saying that a cheater can't ever change and want to be faithful, but yet and however it's hard to trust! Then the question of where does blind trust and honest trust start? The difference is that blind trust is where you don't see what is going on around you, and you choose not believe what you hear or even see! Then you have honest trust which is where you stand by that person no matter what rain or shine, and you believe in your heart that they are where they say and doing what they claim. Now when I did answer this question I was a little hurt to be honest because I often wonder if I pushed this question myself? 

My Response:
"Wow, Where did this come from? However it's a two way street. You leave the door of insecurity open long enough someone is going to walk through it! It's not about her feeling insecure but can you secure her, and check her doubt at the door! At the same time it applies to men who accuse women of cheating because they have a lot of male friends or friendly. A lot of times it's our actions that lead to doubt and sometimes women will let it slide because we don't want to be called insecure but that's what you lead us to feel! Not you personally but the situation at hand, and yet sometimes most people will use that as an excuse to do wrong and cheat! "Well they think I am anyway, so might as well prove it." Wrong because see then your the bad guy it's better to communicate and deal with it when it comes up. Rather then ignore it or sweep it under the rug, however I have learned that sometimes you can push people into things you never thought you could! Many times it hard to deal with things like this cause no one wants to be cheated on, but you keep leaving enough questions unanswered, and throw enough fits! What else are you suppose to think other then there is something to hide! I have learned that sometimes you can do it all and still have him cheat so, and same to women a man can be amazing but she still messes up and cheats. But the point is not to punish the next person! A lot of times God will hand you what you ask for, or give you a second chance to redeem yourself, but it's up to you! I guess not pointing fingers at all just saying that sometimes it's the image you give that leads to the questions and doubt you get! My thoughts I could be wrong though I have been before! But whatever brought this on sorry about that! And I'm apologizing too for all the trouble on my end, and I know I was the downfall and just horrible to you really, but I apologize so sorry! But that's what friends are for right you mess up and they forgive you I hope!"

So I guess the question is how do you answer that question? And then how do you go about living that answer, are we just humans that get pushed into these feelings? Or maybe I'm wrong and it's more then that but we are just too blind to see it! I often wonder if it's the karma of our actions that lead to such doubt in our lives. Like if you were a better man then you wouldn't have to ask why she doubts you? However if she was handling her business would she have to question if you were creeping? Then if no one is at fault or error and your both taking care of each other then why is there doubt in your minds? Where does this doubt come from and how come we can't just wash it away? I often think that sometimes it would be better not to have a heart at all, but then the fact you can't feel pain is great! However you can't feel pain you can't possibly feel joy,happiness, pleasure it will be gone too. So I guess how do you answer this is what I'm left with and how do you securely be with anyone?

Musiq Soulchild - Teach Me