Thursday, February 25, 2010

When I Came Home


Relationships are complex the true complication comes in when truth has been lacks in the beginning. Often times relationships are started off on the wrong foot, when one is hiding their true intentions. I once thought that when it comes to relationships that you're given what you put in them. However that is not always fact mainly when your the only one being productive to start with. "Players" have ruined the very meaning of love, using it to gain affection or attention from the one they are pursuing. Often times we hear the words "I Love You" so often from crooked lips, that when were graced to hear them from the right ones were deaf! Many women will go through hell and back just to be in the arms of a man who says "I Love You". Many men will stick it out with a woman who says "I Love You" because of the theory "it's cheaper to keep her"!


A man once said to me "Omg your the best" and I replied "Wow really you never said that before?" and he replied "Oh no I just said sorry for not Showing it." You think that once you realize you're not showing someone how amazing they are to you, well you would step up! However for many men its a skill to keep you held with the hope one day that they will flood you with appreciation. Then to even say "Damn your such an angel." Then to turn around and tell her that it's pointless no matter what she does she shall never get what she really wants "You". However the game is to keep her around making sure that she doesn't stray to far just if you need her later. See most women have a limit of how far they will go, how much they will put up with before they let the tears beat them to the door! Most men have a level of pain they will endure before they say its over. Many of us will stay in an unhealthy relationships do to the time, we do not want to let years of devotion go down the drain. Many of us live in a world where we think that things will get better, that improvement is just around the corner!

"The Dreamer"- This person hopes that the relationship will be better. That the fairy tale lifestyle will comeback, prince charming is just around the corner he is ready to sweep you back off your feet! That queen you loved from the start is ready to regain her place in the kingdom. The dreamer is often so blinded by fear that it's over they will hide from the reality of what is really happening. Often times making excuses of why they will not leave or why they have to work things out.



"The Liar" - Well this happens a lot sadly we rather make up a relationship then face the one we are involved in. The difference among the dreamer, and liar is that a liar is aware of the fact things are horrible yet to get better. The liar is willing to make up happiness then face the truth that it's over and not getting any better. Nonetheless it takes facing the truth before they will walk away and admit that enough is enough.


"The Hopeful"- This is when your the worker in the relationship, and the devoted one through it all. Your the one that loses sleep while they have the quite dreams. Your the one that keeps the faith that if your supportive,devoted,loyal, and even just there they will come around. You have all the hope in the world that your time is not in vain.


"The Unfaithful"- This is when one of two things has taken place they have been hurt before or not willing to commit just yet. See when someone has been cheated on or betrayed in some way their guard is on high alert! They become more aware of everything, the littlest of details become suspect to them. Then you have the one that is just not willing to settle down, they aren't ready for the responsibility of being devoted. However there are some cases where you get the mixture of both, they have been hurt and not willing to face, that pain again. So cheating either emotionally or physically eases that pain for them, making it justifiable in their minds! Sometimes creating failure in a relationship just to justify their actions and emotions.
 
Dealing with the truth is hard, moving on is even harder. The greatest question ever asked "Can you remain friends after it's all done?" Many would say it depends on how the relationship ends, and if you're willing to just be friends?Sometimes you cannot just be friends when it hurts to see them around you not because you're in love, but because of all you went through just to have another benefit! Then there are times when you become the instant rebound they already know you and know that the feels are still there. You're enabling the hurt for later by sticking around knowing they aren't in it for the finish.

However there are some cases where you can be friends when it's all over, sometimes you fall out of love or liking and into a friendship. That is sad often unfortunate however it does happen your better friends then lovers so it works. In addition, to that when your the one that has been hurt over and over the only way you heal is with a distant relationship. You have to keep them away for your own peace of mind not letting yourself fall back into a painful situation! 



5 Step to Happiness

  1. Know yourself 1st 
  2. Make a list of what you want in a mate (Realistic things not qualities you lack yourself)
  3. Wake up looking forward to the positive (count your blessing)
  4. Grow up (accept responsibility for your actions)
  5. Good Deeds (Doing something out of the kindness of your heart not for a return)

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